SATELLITE SHOT OF THE HUANG TU PO 黄土坡 BUS STATION AREA IN KUNMING 昆明

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我的石河子--My childhood city Shihezi

我的石河子--My childhood city Shihezi

今天，朱丹突然问我你知道石河子吗？我立马跳起来：当然了！我在那里长大的。
原来他看到网上关于"北大教授发配边疆的新闻"就顺口问的。

石河子大学现在都成了211院校了，我爸七十年代末在那个学校读医科的时候，还只是叫做石河子医学院，他毕业后留校，我们全家也就从我出生的阿克苏搬来了石河子，我在石河子读的小学。
这是一座沙漠中的绿洲，绿化率高达33%，跟全世界绿化率最高的波兰差不多，且几乎都是天然的林带，人工的很少。那时候整个城市是由密密的白杨林和白杨林间的小马路组成的，夏天风吹得道路两旁哗哗作响，路的尽头是黛青色的准噶尔盆地山峦，从学校教室的四楼窗口探去，可以看见远处的皑皑天山。我的雪山情节可能就是来源于此吧。冬天厚厚的大雪中，一群野孩子到处叫嚣着，疯跑着，玩雪橇、老牛（冰上抽的陀螺）、冰刀，堆雪人，打雪仗。春秋两季就更不用说了，由于是绿洲，这里的气候又特别好，加上我们读小学那会儿也没什么考试压力，现在跟这个城市有关的回忆完全就是蓝天白云金色阳光和肆意无度的玩耍。以至于刚上初中我爸调到南通医学院我们不得不离开那里的时候，我跟我哥都死赖着不走。

后来我竟然再也没有回去过，从小一起长大的朋友告诉我，石河子为了搞建设砍掉了很多树，马路两旁厚厚几层林带只剩下了一排。尽管如此，她依然是一个美丽的城市。今年我已经离开新疆20年了。真的该回去看看了。

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(Translation of above text)

Bill asked me if I know a place called Shihezi(石河子) in Xinjiang, of course I do, it is where I grew up in.

I was born in a city called Akesu(阿克苏)in the south of Xinjiang, then moved to Shihezi in 1983. By the end of 70's my dad passed the first examation of entry to university(it is call the gaokao 高考), it was stopped by cultural revolution for 10 years, after that the first one was in 1977 the year I was born, he attended and passed it in a very high score then he came to Shihezi medical college became a student in his 30. After he was graduated from it he stayed and worked for the shcool. Then my family moved there.

That was a really green city, an oasis in the desert, full of tress. When I lived there, all my memory is about trees, millions of tress beside the roads, believe me. It was amazing. I never knew othere cities can be so bald compare with it, then when my family left there for the east of China, I was so disappointed. For adults of course Shanghai or Jiangsu province were much better that Xinjiang the most northwest, the most abandoned land, but for a child like me, that is the best memory in life.

In 1989, my dad found a position in Nantong medical college, Jiangsu province, his father's hometown. We had to leave Xinjiang. I was 12 years old. I've never been back after that year. It is almost 20 years. Shihezi is already a city like thousands of other “Chinese style socialist” cities. From the pitures I got from internet, it is pretty but not so extremely green anymore. It's washed by "the develpment" to a modern city with big huge road and high buildings, but I still love it. I hope I can see it soon. Maybe this summer?

WHAT'S GOING ON LATELY

I returned to work a couple weeks ago and have gotten behind on all my blogs. I am simply tired and stressed out from being back to the day to day reality of teaching and the ups and downs that that entails. I also got one of my semi-annual cases of either food poisoning or some intestinal virus that has taken on toll on my energy and enthusiasm. I am working just enough overtime to wear me out and yet still not make enough extra money to make it worth my while.

Here are some pictures from our vast photo collection of life in China. Almost all of these are from our strange little neighborhood here in the Northwest corner of Kunming. I included a little cartoon doodle I did one day on the white board that I am supposed to studying Chinese on. Also at the top are the two guinea pigs and we actually have a new one I need to post some pictures of soon. The puppy in the second picture is not sleeping. The dusty, narrow road outside out school is a death trap for dogs and cats.

The bottom images are art related. Ivy just did not know what to do with a little painting she was doing and the eyes became some strange series of experiments that ended with the "blinding" of the girl in the painting. One day Ivy was getting ready to go out and I noticed a striking resemblance. And speaking of resemblance the last picture is not a portrait of your humble editor despite how strikingly identical the faces appear.

THE COMPLETE OPERA: 红色娘子军 HONG SE NIANG ZI JUN-THE RED ARMY GIRLS

红色娘子军

SHORT CLIP FROM THE CHINESE OPERA BAI MAO NV （白毛女) : THE WHITE HAIRED GIRL

白毛女-THE WHITE HAIRED GIRL

MAYBE I AM MISSING SOMETHING HERE. IS THIS A JOKE OR WHAT?

I am as guilty as any foreigner living in China of sometimes being a little condescending or patronizing of the culture here. It might be a survival mechanism really. I read on Yahoo today how China (along with India and the United Arab Emirates) ranked pretty low for countries that western travelers feel comfortable in. While I consider China safer than the USA as far as violent crime goes (petty crime and scams are part of the package deal here) there is most certainly a sense of being the outsider here with no real chance of getting inside really. I am married to a Chinese woman and in some ways I get a special pass now that other foreigners do not have even if they speak fluent Chinese. And the language issue is a barrier as well. After four years I feel lost and confounded by the language still even though my language goals are fairly modest. While I can often ask for things I need I usually am not sure what people are saying to me when they talk back. But in any case I have set out to try to understand where I am at and I seldom miss the US anymore (except when I want some Twinkies). What I am getting at is that for lets say an American who wants to leave the US for somewhere else Canada or England may inflict less cultural trauma on you than places in China like Jilin or Yunnan. Keep that in mind. Though those Chinese hinter regions would probably be less alienating in their cultural impact than France

So, what is this picture about then? The picture basically has this ratty haired lao wai ( 老外）asking for help (bang mang 帮忙) so he can stay in China. He says he has no money but loves China and needs help to stay. I looked at this image for a while and have decided it has to be a joke or some sort of tasteless performance art (obviously he is not on the street and there is some guy playing with a laptop in the background). I tend to shy away from these dread lock ensconced and ill-bathed foreigners in China for the most part (if that is what this guy even really is). They are all on "spiritual journeys" and a whole other plane of existence that someone like myself may only disturb. Tangle up their vibes so to speak. I will tell you my straight forward opinion. This is the type of yoyo that panhandled off everyone that walked by them in Pioneer Square back in Seattle. They had flippant, asinine attitudes if you said "sorry" and they felt like the whole world owed them something. They look spiritual in that desert dwelling ascetic way but they are simply burned out weirdos with chips on their shoulders who feel morally superior to everyone around them because they are vegans or don't wear sneakers made in sweat shops in Borneo. Their philosophies are formed during Dionysian pot parties where everyone there has actually read the Fountainhead by Ayn Rand while freshman in college before dropping out to walk around India in sandals. After mom and dad get tired of padding the Visa card and they lack the hygiene requirements to even land a gig teaching English to kids here in Asian somewhere they just may have to resort to some begging to get by. But I just do not think so. All these beatniks Buddhas are still dependent on mom and dad ultimately and in my opinion this guy is mocking a system of begging here in in China that is rather common. Common but tragic.While the Chinese usually feel the beggar doing this is a con artist (and no doubt some are) I am sometimes moved by their stories that are written on the sidewalk in chalk or on a parchment like this waste of humanity has. The beggars are often people who have come to the big city looking for work and lost out and now simply want to get back home. Other times they are young girls who want to get money to go to middle school or high school (school is not free here, you no pay you no go). In any case, this guy has some 50 RMB bills laying there. What!!! Is that for real? or did this water brain plant that as part of his gimmick? I usually see five jiao coins and bills (less than a dime US) at the most for the blind beggars here.

This guy is not blind. Not crippled. Not old. Not an orphan. If he is serious he needs to get out of this country where people are really starving and destitute and go back and panhandle for spare change and cigarettes on Haight Ashbury and if it is a joke he is a total hippie asshole. This is what excessive marijuana and Deepok Chopra can do to a mind.

URANIUM WILLY DISCUSSES TEACHING ESL IN CHINA 01

THOSE WHO CANNOT DO TEACH. THOSE WHO CANNOT TEACH TEACH GYM. THOSE WHO CANNOT TEACH GYM TEACH ENGLISH IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY.

Some people back in the USA or a lesser satellite English speaking nation may have simply had it with the job situations back home and seek a new and "rewarding" career. Or maybe they actually love their job but hate their pathetic, wasted lives. Or maybe they are insane serial killers and the FBI is closing in on them and they need to resort to anything to avoid a lethal injection. Maybe the thought of teaching English has crossed their minds as they realize how painful it could really be to try and find an artery in their wrists with a Schick razor blade. Well I am here to offer a little assistance if I can. I have been doing this ESL gig for about five years and my advice is really limited in its scope because I have only taught in one country and that is China. I did do one year of volunteer work while still in Seattle and the experience was useful but did not prepare me much for the reality of being in a classroom with 30 to 40 hyperactive, uninterested Chinese primary or high school students. And the college students are not much better in attitude or focus believe me. But the bottom line is this: I am still doing it and certainly would not want to go back to the states right now with the current economic situation. I do not want to be a fifty year old misanthrope working at Wendy's for a 17 year boss.

So let me look into my imaginary mail bag here and see what questions readers might have had I any readers who asked questions or left comments.

1) Uranium Willy what type of educational back ground do I need to teach ESL in China? Do I need a degree? ESL certification?

While you can get a job here without a BA degree your options are greater with one of course. Typically the degree can be in any subject matter. A BA in home economics will get into a classroom here. I would assume even an Associate degree would be fine so long as it looks snazzy. There are plenty of people working here with just high school diplomas but I think they are going the English Training Center gig more than the College or University gig which I what I have done. More on that later.

A certificate is certainly helpful as well and can get you more options. If you have a BA you do not really need it to get in the door and you can often get a certificate of experience after 500 hours of work with a particular school or company. That type of certificate is regarded highly here really as it shows you have managed to survive in a Chinese educational institute for at least 500 hours of class time.

2) Uranium Willy do you know what the CELTA certificate is and do I need it?

I am not completely sure what the certificate is but it the Cambridge Certificate of English Language Teaching to Adults and is connected some how to the University in England. Actually the certificate is offered here (though it can be bogus from inside China so check it out closely before hand) and is not cheap at about 2000 US dollars but if you are planning to stay in China (and that depends on the statute of limitations on the crimes and misdemeanors you are running from usually) and teach ESL until you die then I would say it is not a bad idea. I will probably get it one day myself when the situation is doable. Meaning time and money. Be prepared to make about 4 to 5 hundred dollars a month here on average. So $2000 takes some time and discipline to save. I would probably have to go back to Beijing or Shanghai, or other large city, as well where the 4 or 6 week course is offered a couple times a year.

If your plan is hang out in China for a year or two and stay drunk and nail desperately lonely but gorgeous Chinese babes then do not worry about it.

I have the 500 hour certificate and it is a good thing to have in China but is really useless in other countries. Most experience you gain here will not transfer well back in the States. You would most likely still need an MA to make decent money teaching ESL back there. Most ESL jobs back in the west pay close to minimum wage really without an MA really and paid positions must compete with all the volunteer work.

Also, the CELTA certificate is a necessary document to teach in the many schools that have some business arrangement with the places that issue the certificate. In other words the certificate can get you jobs but primarily in schools or centers that have some deal with the CELTA organizations that issues the certificate. This means money is involved somewhere. In truth a person with the certificate is sometimes no more qualified to teach in a classroom than a lot of people with little or no real experience but once they get the paper they simply have opportunities laid out before them but more with certain companies and schools, not all. Most teachers I have known do not have it and the ones I knew who did were no more adept in the actual teaching situation than those who lacked it. It is your call and like I said I will probably get it eventually. I understand if you want to do some globe trotting it is the certificate to use as it can help you get into a school that has a partnership with the CELTA program. Those are often English training centers and the certificate is no guarantee you will not get fired or have your contract monkeyed with after you get in the door. You can get get hired by a shit hole in other words. I think people who want to do training centers and cooperate work would benefit more from this than ones who do the college or school route.

3) Uranium Willy I did not finish college (actually I never finished high school) and wonder about these unaccredited "life experience" diplomas I see online. Will that help me?

Well they might will work in China but do not be an idiot and tell anyone that that is what you actually have. You are coming to a country were cheating and scams are endemic to the culture. People get jobs here by bribery often rather than by the merits of their resume and actual skills. That being said you will be a lao wai 老外, a foreigner and will often be exempt from many rules but at other times will be held to a higher standard. For example, it is not cool for foreigners to spit on the floors of restaurants in China while the locals can get away with it or even blow their noses on the floor. A national who has a fake degree and yet has guan xi 关系 (connections) or paid a hefty bride to get the job is not the same as a lao wai who has a phony degree (that's what they are really, not "life experience" degrees). However, do not worry too much as I have known a couple people to do it and they were great teachers really. If you want to teach in South Korea or Japan it can be an issue, but China and south of China (Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos and Thailand) are not as concerned about all that or they simply do not a system in place to track what is what. Normally all you ever have to do is send a scan of your papers. It is rare the original document will be asked for and I have never heard of a school asking to contact the office of admissions for proof of anything. However that can happen as well sometimes happens more often in the more prestigious universities here but those schools can often pay less than the private colleges anyway and treat their teachers no better (more later on public and private schools in China). But if you have a chance to finish your degree do so while still in the States or wherever since you will not be making much money in US dollars or Euros teaching English in Asia. And to be clear I am not endorsing this route but it is option.

So, you can get a job here with no ESL certificate or BA degree, but your choices are limited. You can get an ESL certificate online or here with experience and yes a "life experience" certificate can help you in China and her southern neighbors, but not Japan or South Korea. I have heard you can make good money in SK, I have also heard some schools hold onto your passport for you for an entire year to insure you cannot leave easily, even in the case of emergencies. That does not happen here so far as I have heard. If you can do the job I would not feel guilty about the degree type as education expenses in the US are absurd. After a couple years of doing the hands on work here you will be more qualified than anyone who just walked out of a classroom at some college in Seattle with their hoity toity linguistics degree. In the end you will probably have to chuck all the formal training stuff out the window and start all over from scratch. Endurance and adaptation is a virtue in this field. Alcoholism and access to an isolation tank helps a lot as well.


That about covers these questions. More to come as Uranium Willy rummages through his bulging mail bag.

TWO YEAR OLD BOY SMOKES LIKE A GROWN UP

Boy isn't this just darling. The age of this kid as listed in the original post is two years old. The scene takes place in Si Chuan (四川) province. It is not explained if the concerned adult behind the tyke is his dad or not but there seemed to be an assumption he was. I also have it from a source that translated the dialog, which is not Mandarin but the Si Chuan dialect, that the adults are laughing as well as they teach the kid to say a crude slang for penis. Of course a post like this can often incite some lofty minded, stereotyping phobic westerner to excalaim that this type of thing happens in the west as well, and of course that would be true. I would argue that it is a matter of degree and frequency and also that a video like this in the US or England would prompt a police investigation.

The truth is that here some of my students, the boys in particular, can see this type of activity as social training. How do I know this? I have had the discussion with some of them. They would agree that two is a little young to be smoking (I hope) but many of my male students began drinking with their fathers before the age of ten and it is seen as learning social skills here in some, but definitely not all, circles. The comments that were left on the original site, in Chinese and I needed translating, most certainly showed the majority of netizens here were upset with what was happening and with the cavalier attitudes of all the "adults" in the video. This is not the way Chinese people normally raise their children but sadly there is no system here that can intervene on behalf of their boy's welfare. It is considered a family matter and outside intervention make make baba lose face. In the meantime Jr. here is losing his lungs.

(This video was deemed unsuitable by Youtube and removed as in violation of terms and conditions. What!!!! Give me a break. I will get it up via Google Video - who is stopping all video uploads soon - or Metacafe or my Photobubucket account. Got it yanked and even got a a warning that my account would be suspended or canceled over this. I like the look of the Metacafe player but sometimes I cannot access the site here. Not blocked as far as I know, just connection issues I guess. But what is up with Youtube's flexible ethics suddenly? They have school yard fights between kids and videos of people feeding guinea pigs to boa constrictors but this slice of reality is not suitable.? The world is screwed up.)

This is what a rejection notice from Youtube looks like if you have never received one. Cute. This is actually for another video I had uploaded to another Youtube site (good to have a couple for this reason) and you can see by the title of video - Killer Pussy - that I suspected in advance there could be trouble. But not too much since the video clip I snagged WAS ALREADY ON YOUTUBE FOR SIX MONTHS! Anyway, looks like Google worked for now, and as I said use it while you still can because soon Google will cease accpeting video uploads.

FIREWORK FROLICS END WITH A BIG BANG ON LANTERN FESTIVAL AS THE NEW CCTV ANNEX GOES UP IN FLAMES

CCTV ANNEX SLATED TO HOUSE THE MANDARIN ORIENTAL HOTEL BURNS DOWN BECAUSE OF FIREWORKS

This story is all over the net and is already rife with conspiracy theories. Employing Occam's Razor and accepting the mundane reality that the most basic and obvious story is usually the truth we can conclude that firework festivities burned this structure up. Luckily the building , soon to have opened as a luxury hotel, was not occupied and sadly only one brave firefighter died. Heads will roll and feathers will fluff but I feel certain we will see more of the same, hopefully on a lesser scale, come the next holiday here. I watched the kids and adults in our little neighborhood here in Kunming setting off what seemed like small sticks of dynamite and rolls of fire crackers that blasted for a minute sometimes they were so long. It is totally wanton and dangerous here when they are being set off. I was in Beijing for Spring Festival when the ban on fireworks was lifted a few years ago and it was beyond words really. We all had to simply get off of the streets while we still could. That is an understatement and not an exaggeration.

There is an excellent post with diagrams and Chinese language (that gives it an air of authority) about the fire at Sun Bin. A lot of information going around as well about the general lack of press coverage by CCTV on the fire. It is all but absent really from the mainstream news here. While the net is over flowing with information the one place that seems to have no interest in making a big story out of it all is CCTV itself. Surprise, right?

FOR SOMETHING A LITTLE MORE REFRESHNG HOW ABOUT YOUNG CHINESE GIRLS PRANCING AROUND IN THEIR PANTIES IN A CONTEST!

2008 China Lingerie Model Contest

I was told a couple months back never to travel to Nanning in Guanxi Province because nothing ever happens there. Well according to these pictures looks like a lot is happening there. Like nubile young Chinese girls running around the catwalk in their underwear. On the China Daily site (not the link I posted here) the deep thinking commenters bickered over the definition of sexism and whether or not this qualified. Jeesh, who cares. It is young women in underwear already. Sexist or not it is lot more refreshing than the cow I saw being buthered on the street sidewalk outside my school a couple weeks ago. Maybe Nanning is due for a visit.